I’ve been up for three days straight. Since Sunday night really, when the season finale of Breaking Bad aired. I just haven’t been able to sleep! Tears come randomly, jolts of pain make me at once aware of my surroundings and painfully numbed to them. All I listen to is polka music, hoping it will bring me back to life. But nothing has been able to so far – the memory of Felina (the last episode of Breaking Bad) makes it impossible for me to smile. And I sit here, awake and alone – a shell of the person I once used to be. Oh, Walter White, WHY! Why did you have to break bad! Anyways, I’m totally kidding. I’m fine. What a finale though, wasn’t it!? Fwaaa! Absolutely epic, what a show! My friends and I have been watching it from day one and, the day after the show ended, a friend of mine sent me a link to this cupcake recipe saying we should make them – if only to comfort our post Breaking Bad souls. But I looked at the recipe and noticed it was full of sugar, butter, and yadiyadiya so I made my own protein version as a tribute to the show – and to healthy high-protein baking, of course.
By the way, if you HAVEN’T watched Breaking Bad, I apologize for the confusion you must be feeling. It’s a TV show that ended last Sunday and it’s up there with The Sopranos and The Wire as one of the best TV shows of all time – I think so at least. It’s about a school-teacher-turned-drug-lord and his signature ‘bake’ in the show is blue meth. Obviously I’m not paying a tribute to the meth with this recipe; I’m just paying tribute to the brilliance of the show! Which, incidentally, has given rise to the proliferation of ‘blue meth’ candy (check out this tribute bucket) and all sorts of related paraphernalia (like this T shirt and this suit!) Halloween this year is going to be packed with Heisenbergs et al. But I digress, apologies. Let me just give you the recipe:
1/2 small cooked sweet potato
1 cup liquid egg whites
3 tablespoons oat flour (or buckwheat flour)
1/4 cup vanilla caramel whey protein powder
1/2 tablespoons toffee flavdrops (or your sweetener of choice)
1/4 cup vanilla pea protein powder (or vanilla casein?)
1 tablespoon coconut flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1. Before you make your cupcakes, make your ‘blue meth’ by adding some blue food coloring to *drumroll* rock salt. I know, I know, how uninspired. But I figured dying salt would be better than making a bunch of sugar candy and breaking it up (which is what these people do). Also, because my muffins are really sweet and caramely, the salt actually *kind of* worked. As long as you don’t go crazy with it? But, to be honest though, I’d just omit the salt completely. Its purpose here is mostly aesthetic so… yeah.
2. To make the muffins, all you do is blend the egg whites, pea protein (or casein), oatflour, whey, sweet potato, baking powder, and coconut flour until you get a thick batter. Then, divide this into four or five muffin cases, depending on how big you like your cupcakes.
3. Bake at 170 C (338 F) for about 35-40 minutes or until, when poked with a knife, your knife comes out clean. Don’t overbake them because they’ll turn a bit dry if you do. Just take them out as soon as they’re cooked though.
1 pot quark (250 g)
1/4 cup vanilla caramel whey
To make the frosting, all you then do is mix the quark (or cream cream cheese) with the whey until you get a smooth mix. This is what it should look like.
Then, to add the frosting to the muffins like I do, all you need is a piping nozzle and a ziplock sandwich bag. You COULD use a proper piping bag but a sandwich bag works great! You simply add the nozzle to the bag, push it to one corner, cut off that corner so the nozzle sticks out, add your frosting to the bag, and squeeeeeze
After you’ve frosted all the muffins (transforming them thus into cupcakes), add your toppings. You can add some rock salt like I did OR you could use some honeycomb, freeze-dried bananas, chopped nuts, chocolate chips, or flaked coconut!
Macros per Cupcake (out of 4):