Protein Pancakes For Men
These pancakes are for men only. They’re designed to broaden men’s shoulders, widen their chest, expand their lats, thicken their legs, work on that six (going-on-eight) pack, and create that chiseled drop-dead-gorgeous man-physique that women swoon over. They also build both upper and lower body strength. You may be wondering how this is possible, they are just pancakes after all. Well, let me tell you their secret: they contain regular whey protein powder. That’s right. The kind of stuff that, if ladies eat, will turn them into Hulkian versions of themselves. Ladies, if you’re reading this, please substitute the whey protein in the recipe for a women-only powder. You want to work on toning, sculpting, and muscle elongation after all – you don’t want to wake up one day with man-arms and look in the mirror to find a heavyweight male staring back! So stay away from regular whey and look for the ‘women-only’ tubs of protein. You’ll spot them right away because they’re pink. Oh, what’s that? Women-only protein powders are a lot more expensive, you say? Well, of course they are! They’re special. They’re made just for you!
1 cup egg whites
1/2 cup vanilla whey protein powder (substitute for women-only whey if you’re a woman)
2 tablespoons cottage cheese (optional but nice for extra moisture)
1/4 cup buckwheat flakes (or plain rolled oats)
2 tablespoons coconut flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
Blend all ingredients together and panfry on a nonstick pan. Cook them, flip them, plate them, and that’s it: your man-protein pancakes are now ready to be demolished by your man-jaws.
Macros per Stack:
34.7g carbs (out of which 12.2g is fiber!)
But OK, OK, let’s rewind a little. You may be thinking my introduction to the recipe sounds ridiculous. I hope you do in fact! But let me tell you: this is the line of reasoning that supports the marketing and sale of women-only protein powders. They’re out there and I keep seeing them, ignoring them, then seeing them again and getting outraged. It’s actually not easy for me to write this without resorting to a tirade of abuse against marketers but… hey, let me try, OK? OK.
Most women-only protein powders come in pink tubs and promise a ‘toned and sculpted’ physique. They often also feature the word ‘diet’ as if all women were (or should be) dieting. They outrage me tremendously because they’re jam-packed with misinformation for an audience that’s already misinformed. They add kindling to an already high-enough fire of BS (which you can read as either broscience or bullsh**.) I get really passionate when I discuss this, apologies if you find it all a bit over the top, “I’m just here for pancakes, what the hell!”
Someone in the industry once told me that women-only protein powders are a good thing because they’re a ‘gateway’ for women to try protein powders proper. She said that they provide a ‘safe’ environment for women to dabble into the world of protein powders. She said that after buying women-only protein powders, women feel ’empowered’ to buy regular protein powders.
Well… I disagree with this completely because most of them don’t. Most women who buy women-only powders continue to buy women-only powders because they buy into a campaign that tells them to do so by feeding them a lie. A lie that they, in turn, internalize: the idea that regular gender-neutral protein powders (or even those with beefy-men on the label) are not suitable for women. Take for example ‘Sally’ – a personal trainer and ambassador to a brand of women-only protein powders, let’s call the brand BS (I’ve anonymized her name and the name of the brand for the sake of decency). As a testimonial for the brand, she wrote: “I struggle to find female-friendly protein powders… I like using BS protein powders because I know they won’t make me bulky… I don’t want to turn into the Hulk! So BS is perfect for me!” Or let’s consider ‘Mary,’ also a user of BS protein. She writes: “BS protein powder is perfect for toning, sculpting, and getting rid of stubborn fat!”
What can one say really? The whole thing is absurd. As absurd as protein pancakes for men, as absurd as the idea that protein powders de facto GIVE people a muscular and/or lean physique. They don’t. You know what does? Weight training, an intelligently-designed diet, heaps of patience, lots of perseverance, the willingness and openness to fail in the process to succeeding, motivation, focus, self-discipline, determination and DRIVE. So join me in the fight against women-only protein powders, will ya? Because it’s time we educate women instead of remain indifferent to the growth of women-only powders which feature the exact same stuff as regular powders do (and sometimes of inferior quality!) yet come packaged in pink and cost five times as much. And while we fight against this, hey! let’s keep on lifting heavy stuff at the gym, cooking our protein (in this way fighting against this other piece of nonsense), and enjoying our protein pancakes – no matter what our gender may be!