Giant Chocolate Protein Muffins (Dairy- & Gluten-Free)

Yesterday, I went to watch the movie Gravity. Have you seen it? It’s a pretty good movie. Here’s the trailer. My only criticism is that it didn’t rattle my soul. I thought it’d make a strong point about the wackness of humanity and how we’re all just creatures with an expiration date stamped on our hearts. But it didn’t, I mean, not really. Instead, it delivered 90 minutes of terror combined with thrill and a hell of a lot of suspense (the guy next to me was on the verge of chewing both his hands off from the tension). That, combined with the jaw-dropping visuals and truly astounding imagery of space, made the movie totally worth watching. Even if it didn’t shake the rug beneath my own sense of reality, it was fine entertainment.

I’m not telling all this because I’ve always wanted to be movie critic and now “Mwahaha! I get to impose my reviews on a captive audience I’ve lured in here by the promise of a recipe!” No (OK.. maybe I little?)

I’m telling you all this because I made these muffins to eat in the movie theatre while I watched Gravity. I sneaked them in, tried to unsuccessfully unwrap them without making too much noise (because I stupidly used tin foil instead of plastic wrap), and nervously munched through what was left of my muffin before handing the other muffin to the right.

At this point, I need to share with you some bad news: I didn’t taste the muffin at all. I was enthralled by the movie so I practically swallowed it whole. I’m sorry. Thankfully though, I ate half of the muffin before heading to the theatre so I can share some photos with you and confirm that, oy! they were delicious :-)


1/4 cup cocoa powder
2 tablespoons coconut flour
1/4 cup rice protein powder
1/4 cup chocolate egg protein powder (see Note 1 below for subs)
1/8 cup xylitol (see Note 2)
1/2 cup almond milk
1/2 teaspoon baking soda


1. Using an immersion blender, mixer, or food processor, blend all the above ingredients together until you get a smooth batter.

2. Divide this batter into two giant muffin cases or four regular-sized ones. I used this giant muffin-tray-thingy which is pretty cool for making giant muffins or individual cakes which you can slice horizontally, fill with protein frosting, and demolish as if they were regular-sized cakes and you were a hungry giant.

3. Bake at 160 C (320 F) for about 40 minutes or until, when poked with a knife, the knife comes out clean and…voila: done.

Macros per muffin (out of 2):

27g protein
21g carbs (out of which 11g is fiber so net carbs 11g)
7g fat


1. If you don’t have chocolate egg white protein powder, just omit it and use a couple of whole eggs or four egg whites and cut back on the milk to 3/4 cup instead of 1/2 cup.

2. To make the muffins properly low-carb, feel free to sub the xylitol with stevia (just make sure you taste the mix before you bake it to ensure it’s sweet enough for you!)

And of course, last but not least, here’s a link to my Holiday Recipes Ebook! Featuring Protein Pumpkin Pie and the best Protein Cookies on earth (amongst other protein packed holiday recipes!)

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